And now we know


Two weeks of silence

I almost caught myself to stop writing in this blog.

I got busy again and told myself, “I just don’t have time for this writing stuff. How is it going to help me grow my business?”

I’ve just went through two weeks of non-stop work craziness – I’m launching a new ecourse with three different levels next month, writing email copy, creating workbooks, making sales pages and somehow in between all that, I thought I could handle 5 coaching sessions in one week.

THIS is all the stuff that’s going to help me grow my business, help me make money and help me to help other small business owners. I get that.

But I also get the importance of this blog. It feels cathartic to write out this court case crap. It feels good to write again.

Back to the Court Case

April 2015 brought about the second deposition  – mine.

I met with the best lawyer ever to prepare for the depo. But without knowing what they were going to ask me, we could only prepare so much. We got to a point where it was time to just show up and see what would happen.

Once the depo started, I immediately sensed that I was being put on trial. I was on trial for being me and everything that’s involved with being me.

I was on trial for standing up to my ex.

They spent 2 hours drilling me about my money and how I pay my bills. I didn’t fill out this page correctly, these numbers don’t add up here and I didn’t add in the totals on this page.

They wanted to know how I got behind in my mortgage payments. And how could I set up a college fund for my son and – get this – not my ask my ex for his advice before I did it?

I really couldn’t tell if they cared so much about having my financial paperwork be perfect or they were just trying to get in my head. Pick at that money band-aid and see if they could get that scab to bleed a bit more.

Maybe they wanted me to watch me squirm and feel vulnerable. Maybe that’s how they thought they’d take me down.

Let the questions begin

After the financial part of the depo ended, they came after me with about what felt like 100 questions.

How many times do you do this? I don’t know, once or twice.

Really, what changed?

How long have you been doing that? I’ve been doing that since I was divorced.

Really, what changed?

Do you do this for your son? Do you help him with that? And how often? Yes, no, not all the time.

And every question seemed to end with, what changed?

After 30 minutes of this type of questioning, I finally said, “What changed? Nothing. I’m still me.”

I was there for 3.5 hours answering questions.

Sometimes I messed up what the best lawyer ever had wanted me to say. Sometimes I got emotional and snapped in anger.

And other times, I just sat there and wondered what does this have to do with this court case?


It had nothing to do with this court case. It had everything to do with this man wanting to come after me and to find a way to take me down. And legally, I had to answer all his damn questions.

It was exhausting but the best lawyer ever found it to be enlightening.

As we walked out, he said to me, “And now we know. Now we know what their case is about. Now we know how to move forward with how to present our case in court.”

I drove back home and thought about everything that had happened that day. I thought about the questions and thought about that now-we-know conversation with my lawyer.

And I said to myself, “Is that all you got? Well guess what jackass – you poked the bear. The court date is coming up in September and I’m coming after you now. I know what your case is about and how to win this thing. When are you going to learn, never poke a bear … especially one with a good lawyer.”


never poke a bear












6 thoughts on “And now we know

    • When you’re in the monent, it’s hard to feel that way. It was so many questions pulling me in all directions, it was exhausting. But once I separated myself from that place and worked through everything in my head, my dear left and all that was left was my inner bear 🙂

  1. I hate to be questioned over my decisions, especially when they were mine to make because no one was there to make them with me! So good on you for making it through and kudos to the best lawyer ever for pointing out what I would have missed, that now their battle strategy was exposed!

    • My lawyer was amazing through this whole process – he caught things I missed when I was wrapped up in my emotions. I walked out of there feeling exposed and he strutted out saying, and now we know how to move forward. He was worth every bit of the money we paid him 🙂

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