A Brief Update
With the exception of the occasional “Why don’t I hear the water running?” things I scream when he’s upstairs messing around (does that count since I have to yell for him to hear me upstairs?), I’ve learned to take more deep breaths and to calm down before I speak. I’ve even noticed that I’m not leaving the room to cool myself down as much these days. Something in this process is finally starting to work and I’m actually quite pleased with myself these days.
I didn’t expect this
What I didn’t expect from this program was to see changes in my son Jake. We planned a big movie night this past weekend and I let Jake pick out out the line-up from some of the DVDs he hasn’t watched in awhile. Jake decided it would be a Justice League night since he has so many of the movies and episodes.
While looking for a specific movie, he took all of the Justice League discs out of their boxes. The movies were all over the floor in no order and Jake sat there reading the back of all the boxes trying to figure out which movie went with what description. Twice, he put the wrong movie in, only to pop it back out once he saw the opening credits. I watched him calmly go through this process until he found the movie he wanted to watch.
After he turned the movie on, he came over to me and said, “Did you see that?” Usually I get all upset and start throwing things and crying. But I didn’t do that this time. Did you see that mom?”
I was very proud of him. Not only did he control his anger, he was AWARE of the fact that he controlled his behavior. This is the kind of conversation I want to remember that I had with my son.
I started to think about some of the other memorable conversations I’ve had with Jake. Like this one here during his first week of 3rd grade:
Me: What do you think about your new teacher?
Jake: I like her. I think she’s going to be a good teacher like my reading teacher from last year.
Me: What makes someone a good teacher?
Jake: She doesn’t send any notes home about what I’ve been doing in school.
Me: That’s it? What about the idea of you being good in school so the teachers don’t have to send a note home?
Jake: No, that’s not going to work. She’ll be a good teacher if she just doesn’t send any notes home no matter how I act.
And there was this classic one that happened before bedtime:
Jake was making monsters with his legos and was telling me what each monster was and their destructive powers. Then the questions began ….
1. Which monster do you think is my least favorite?
2. Which monster do you think would explode?
3. Which one would win in a battle?
4. Which one is your favorite?
5. Where do you think these monsters like to live?
“Alright, we’re done. That’s enough! No more questions.”
Jake says, “One more question … so why did you have a kid if you didn’t want to answer questions?”