Why Is It So Hard Making Myself A Priority?

priority quote

I can’t believe we’re already into the second month of 2013. Maybe it’s this busy schedule I’m on, maybe it’s the fact I’ve found my purpose and taking the steps to move towards it seems to be going at a rapid pace. I’m not sure what’s happening but more has developed in this discovery process of my life.

As my business continues to grow, I’m looking for ways to make personal changes so that I can keep up with everything. I shared with you in last week’s post about the changes I’m working on to re-create myself into what I want next in my life. A very sensitive subject I didn’t touch on in my list is my physical appearance.

I don’t have body issues with myself but as my business coach likes to remind me, “You only get one chance at a first impression.” Apparently, the way I dress has not caught up with where I truly am in my life and the direction of where my business is heading.

Changes were suggested and recommended, many conversations were held and debated. Somewhere in all those discussions, I found myself surrounded by that ‘uncomfortable yet familiar’ feeling. My usual response? Questions, questions and more questions … do I have an expectation to be seen in a certain way? Why was I feeling so uncomfortable when these people were just trying to help me? What in the world was holding me back from going out and buying new clothes that fit me for work and my new life?

Then the big question rose its ugly head at me … why is it so hard for me to make myself a priority?

Is this a ME Thing? A MOM thing or something that all women do? I started to look around to get some answers to my question, “Where does this feeling come from when these people have my best interest at heart?” They’re trying to help me and I kept shutting them down with excuse after excuse after excuse.

Then I remembered this discovery process has something to do my continual search for my authentic self. I re-watched a recommended video of Brene Brown. If you haven’t seen this video, it’s truly worth 20 minutes of your time: click here to hear her empowering words.

Brene reminded me that when you live an authentic life it means “you’re willing to let go of who you truly thought you should be in order to be who you really are.”

I’m always amazed when a messenger presents itself to me. The video viewing lead me to staring at the many, many self-help books on my bookshelf. One of the books reached out and spoke to me. It was one of those moments where I thought, there it is. There’s your answer.

Here is a passage from what I found from the author Melody Beattie:

To honor the self is to live authentically, to speak and act from our innermost convictions and feelings.

To honor the self is to be in love with your own life, in love with our possibilities for growth and for experiencing joy, in love with the process of discovery and exploring our distinctively human potentialities.

Thus we can begin to see that to honor the self is to practice selfishness in the highest, noblest and least understood sense of that word. And this, I shall argue, requires enormous independence, courage and integrity.

29 thoughts on “Why Is It So Hard Making Myself A Priority?

  1. SO, the message is be selfish. Actually, it sounds better the way you and Beattie said it. Some of the challenge could be from your role as a parent. However, I would guess it is probably an internal issue and only remotely related to your role as mom. No, I am not a psycologist. Just offering a thought here. Anyway, Part of what both these philosophers seems to be saying is to be comfortable with yourself.

    • Thanks for the comment. I think that’s what this blog has been helping me do – figure out who I really am. I’ve realized quite a bit about myself this past year that I wouldn’t have dreamed I’d do if you met me a few years ago.

    • I agree. My girlfriends can relate to this much easier than men do. It’s about changing the way I think about things. It’s funny, when I’m making these excuses and saying ‘do you think so?’ I don’t even realize I’m doing it until my friend says, ‘YES stop asking me that!’ That’s like years of repressed thinking just coming out.

      How to change this is the big question. I feel a Life with the Top Down post coming on .. let me know when you come up with some answers 🙂

  2. Well have fun shopping! DO you know what your style is? I have not really narrowed down my style OR gotten my body as fit as it needs to be for the lifestyle I want to live! I started going onto pinterest and pulling any looks I liked then I’ve been narrowing down the looks I like the best. BUT like ALL things I still don’t know EXACTLY what I want. It’s a PROCESS!
    Good Luck!

    • Weird thing is, I LOVE shopping! I just don’t make the time to do this for myself.
      I’m working on my style in Pinterest too. Have you seen my board? I’ll go check out yours and see if I can figure out your style or where you should be heading.

      I also watch episodes of “what not to wear” to give me ideas of my options. Ever seen that show?

      • I like that show too! I don’t have a board I have a folder on my desk top! I guess I would have more fun shopping if I had money and I was slimmer… I’m working on the slimmer part!!! Good Luck I’ll check out your boards! I miss talking to you!

      • I haven’t been able to chat lately because I’ve been so busy with work, which is a good thing! Today is the only day I’ve actually been at my desk for the whole day without a meeting, a training session or teaching a workshop. Working on making those big sales so I can take myself shopping 🙂

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