So There I Stood

Everyone has those moments in their lives where they remember every detail, every word spoken, every feeling moving through their body. Those moments turn into a story that’s told so many times that we relive those emotions as if it just happened yesterday.

This is my moment that became my story ….

The day started as every other typical day in my married life. Our weekend plans usually involved our son Jake. Even at the tender age of 2 1/2, Jake was already aware of the tensions between his parents. The details of the day’s event are irrelevant as the outcome always turned out the same. I spent the day walking on eggshells trying not to upset Jake’s dad but in the end, my attempts were useless.

After three years of dating and another seven years of stupidly-agreeing-to-this-marriage, my moment had come. The fight started the same way and continued down the usual path with hours of yelling, name-calling and ugly threats. I knew this would be a night where someone would sleep in another room. This would be another one of those weekends where I counted the hours for Monday morning to come when he would go back to work. I looked forward to those days when he would leave the house so Jake and I could have some peace.

And that night it hit me. I mean, it literally hit me.

The fight had escalated. I stared at him pacing around the kitchen, arms flailing, the words pouring out of his mouth to see just how far he could take my self-esteem down. Then it happened. I felt like I was hit with a 2 x 4 board. I was one of those cartoon characters who was hit so hard their body shook all over. And all you hear is the sound effect of  wah …wah… wah….

I felt numb to my surroundings. My body started to vibrate so I leaned back against the kitchen counter to keep myself from falling over. My mind began to wander as he continued his rant but I could no longer hear his words. I remember looking down to see the dishes in the sink and telling myself I needed to put them in the dishwasher before I went to bed. When I looked back up, I could only see a caged tiger in a zoo.

His mouth moving but I couldn’t hear the words. All I could hear was the sound of the vibration in my head … wah wah wah wah.

I can’t tell how long it took before I became aware of the sound of a voice again. I distinctly heard the question “Is this my life?” A low sound responded back. It was the sound of my own voice and it answered, “No.”

I walked out of the kitchen that night with a new found understanding of how a moment could change a person’s life.

Too many years I stayed

because I didn’t believe I could

So there I stood

———————————————————

This is the draft of one of my stories I’ve written for my writing class. This is the first part of The Story That Needs to be Told. I’m working on a few more so I’d appreciate any feedback from my fellow writers as I’m not sure if this is the one I’ll use for our final reading night.

Photo credit: raining in my heart

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “So There I Stood

    • Thanks for the feedback! Always good to know you’re not alone.

      Watch for the post on Sunday – its a funny dog one that you’ll get a kick out of 🙂
      (BTW – LOVE your pins!)

  1. I think it’s a good story, Penny, and well written. My only suggestion is that you might think about shortening some of the sentences after it hit you. It would give more impact. This was a big deal. Maybe only those of us who went through it know that, so make as big an impact there as you can. Go gettem Tiger!

    • Very good idea – I appreciate the feedback. This the first draft of this. Do you think I should use this for my class story? Of course I will add more details because you know how they are in that class. Always asking questions.

      • I’m sorry, I thought I had replied! Forgive me! Yes, use it for the class story. And about the details, don’t give too much information. You will want to write more stories on this subject. It’s part of the healing. And as far as the class is concerned: screw ’em if they can’t take a joike!

  2. This is great Penny. I can’t wait for you to share the finished product. I agree with Judi in the sense that the impact of him hitting you is huge, make it jump off the page. You brought me right into that kitchen…make me stay. Great work!!

    • I appreciate the feedback 🙂
      This was my first draft and you both gave me something to think about to make this better. Thanks for clicking over all the time – your comments are huge help.

  3. Pingback: There I stood: The final version « My journey to live an authentic life

Let me know, what do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s