When I was around my son Jake’s age, I had a copy of the Dr. Suess book called My Book about ME. If you’ve never seen this book, it’s a funny series of questions for kids to answer so they can tell you about … well … me. A few years ago, my mother decided to give back some of my childhood things she found in a box in the garage. My Book about ME was included in this pile so I put it on the bookshelf along with the other stacks of favorite books I own (and somehow think I’m going to read again).
Last year, Jake found my book and proceeded to get a glimpse of what his mother was really like when I was his age. He thought the whole thing was pretty funny so for his birthday, my mom bought him his own My Book about ME. He filled it out a bit and like most kids, the excitement wore off, he put it away somewhere and forgot about it.
For some unknown reason, he decided to pull it back out this week. He was determined to finish every page of the book. For this week’s Sunday Funnys, I’ll give you the highlights of some of the stuff he wrote.
About me and eating: I eat like a goat
I think he said that because I’m always telling him to shut his mouth when he eats. He chews so loudly that I can hear him across the table.
My favorite pet is a Tiger.
And then he checked the box – I wish I had one. REALLY? That’s what’s missing in our house. A pet tiger.
My favorite musical instrument is my butt.
I don’t think I need to explain this one here. He’s an 8-year old boy … there’s your explanation.
I make noises like: a fart, a woman screaming and my all-time favorite (wait for it) pee splatting
I asked what he meant by ‘pee splatting,’ he started making this hissing sound. When I questioned him again, he said, “you know, the sound your pee makes when its hits the side of the toilet.” Well I guess that explains the smell in the bathroom after he’s been in there.