Today’s post was written by my dog Winston about his adventures as the secret dog agent, Poopie McPooperson. If you missed the first episode, click here to read The Tail of Poopie McPooperson. (As you may recall, Poops has the voice of Ricky Gervais so this must be read in a cool British accent.)
Today I learned I was assigned to a special operation mission. The Human Momma and Human Jake were planning to travel north to a land called Georgia. I usually come along on these adventures but I heard I was needed to train for a special operation mission in our war against the evil cats. I’ve already been on a few special ops training trips so when the Human Dana picked me up, I was more then excited to get this mission started.
Since I’ve come to live with my humans, they’ve taken me on many special ops training trips to this place they call the beach. There’s nothing better then the freedom to be off that leash and to run with the Human Jake! To swim in the ocean, play ball in the sand and to dig. I do love that sand and … digging.
On the way over to the training grounds, I imagined my special ops to be like this:
But really, it was more like this … aww Bloody Hell!
After I removed the team from my back and got that damn schnauzer to stop licking me (what a nutter – I have no idea why he was selected for this special mission!), we got down to business. Turns out this training thing was about an experiment to teach dogs and cats to work together as special agents.
All those weeks of recon and my hard work to uncover where the evil cat leader Figglehorn’s lair had paid off. I had made it to the top. I was training at the double secret animal agency. Many have heard of this secretive place but I was here so bring it on humans – let the training begin!
And there were dogs and cats EVERYWHERE. All of us spent a grueling week in training. We ate, slept and practiced training tactics until late into the night.
Each dog tried his luck to work with the cats but only yours truly, Poopie McPooperson was able to sit still to interact with the cats.
Unlike the others, I clearly understood my mission and made my way around the property to meet all the other cat agents. By the end of the week, I had met everyone, let them rub up against me and a few even started to call me by my nickname, Poops.
But there was this one cat … he seemed so familiar yet so far away. He would follow me around the yard, kept a close eye on my training sessions but he would always run when I tried to chat. And then the last day at the compound, I saw him at his bowl drinking some water.
He had his back to me and it was odd, something was just not quite right with his fur. As he moved away from his bowl, I could see his fur sagging in places where fur shouldn’t be sagging. I quietly crept up to him to get a better look. Wait a minute … was that some weird cat suit … on a cat? In the places where his cat suit was hanging off his body, I could see the true color of his fur. He had black and white patches under that fur suit … could it be?
And then I saw his face ….
Stay tuned for the next exciting adventure of Poopie McPooperson as he battles Figglehorn at the secret training compound, discovers why cats can always land on their feet when being dropped from a tree and why that damn schnauzer won’t stop licking him!