Questions a young boy his age shouldn’t be asking. Questions that require a grownup answer a young boy wouldn’t understand. He wants to know about the divorce.
My son Jake will turn 9 in five months. He’s now lived more of his life with divorced parents then with parents who are together. Jake travels back and forth between our two homes every other week. He’s had enough experiences with his dad to see him in action. Jake has started to form his own conclusions and understanding about who his father really is. But he still continues to ask me questions.
We talk about the divorce as much as I can with an 8-year old boy. He’s made it clear to me he doesn’t want to see his folks get back together. I know him well enough by now to see his genuine sincerity about what he believes to be right for him. And right for us.
When I ask him about his early memories, he remembers this moving chair thing and our dog Woodrow coming up and sniffing him. That’s pretty amazing to me since he was really young when he played with this toy.
And that’s not all Jake remembered. He remembered the yelling. The yelling between me and his dad. The screaming, yelling and constant fighting that went on in our house before we decided to get a divorce. What a horrible awful thing to remember for a boy his age. I feel the pain right in my heart for that memory.
I remember the day Jake screamed at the two of us to stop yelling. He was too young to really say what he wanted but he knew the word STOP. And he knew how to yell it to get our attention. To this day it bothers me when I think how terrible it got that a 2 1/2 year old had to tell his parents how to act.
Jake doesn’t remember that day but I do. I still feel the sting of the guilt from that one. And now he’s been asking questions. Questions that a young boy his age shouldn’t have to be asking that require grownup answers that a young boy wouldn’t understand.