I checked out the Worst Cooks in America show this past Sunday night and there it was again – my culinary challenged view point on The Food Channel. I still can’t believe that there are others out there who cook like me on this show.
I should say attempt to cook like when I tried to make dinner for Ben Friday night. As usual, the recipe started with ‘remove box from freezer’ and start boiling water. I made some frozen shrimp dinner thing over pasta. Of course I was almost out of pasta so I had to use two different types (sea shells and penne) to make a full serving for both of us. I even tried to add some color (see Bobbie – I’m paying attention!) by adding in some peas and carrots.
It was a hot ugly mess. Ben barely ate it and he said that all he could taste was pepper. Which makes sense because other then adding in the peas and carrots, I only put in some pepper. And maybe some parmesan cheese. I think that Ben didn’t really want to eat it but he was hungry and just trying to be nice.
Fast forward to Sunday night and the Worst Cooks in America. Another great show but I still didn’t really learn anything new. They kept getting on to one of the contestants Dorothy about how she cut the food in her recipes. Again, I totally got the confusion with the knife cuts. For the longest time, the only knives that I had in my house were steak knives. I bought them because I thought that I need a set of knives and they looked like the sharpest in the store.
Last year, Ben bought me a small set of knives and one of those butcher block things that you put the knives into. To this day, I have used only one of the knives – the smallest one – to cut up tomatoes or carrots. The only time the other ones get used are when Ben comes over to cook a decent meal for me.
Back to the show … the contestants had to re-create a dish without the demo from their chef coaches. I was pretty impressed that they got most of it right. But the best part of the show were the one-liners by the contestants.
Here are the ones that made my top 5:
1. How do you cut a freakin’ apple into cubes? It’s a round apple.
2. Did you see that? David’s flicking burnt garlic off the porkchop like its a booger.
3. Do you stuff the porkchop before you cook it? (this was asked AFTER they had cooked it) No just stuff it now and then seal the porkchop shut to seal the juices.
4. The water to boil the potatoes should be salty like the sea but not the Dead Sea.
5. Dorothy had to cut half crescent moon shapes in the kale and she had to ask Chef Anne how to do this. After Chef Anne shows her the shape of the kale is like a half moon, Dorothy says, “How was I suppose to know that. Who’s going to pick it up and look at it?”
This week, Dorothy was my hero. AND she actually won the challenge! Maybe there’s hope for me yet …
Photo credit: Pink Sherbert Photography