Why Is It So Hard Making Myself A Priority?

Another three months have passed and more has developed in this discovery process of my life.  As my business continues to grow, I’ve started to find ways to make changes so that I can continue to grow. I found myself in a place where I’m looking for ways to re-create myself into what I want next in my life. The first on the list was my physical appearance.

Not that I have any major body issues with myself but my business coach likes to remind me, “You only get one chance at a first impression.” Apparently, my appearance has not caught up with where I truly am in my life and in the direction of where my business is heading.

After changes were suggested and recommended, many conversations were held and debated, I found myself surrounded by that ‘uncomfortable yet familiar’ feeling. My usual response? Questions, questions and more questions … do I have an expectation to be seen in a certain way? Why was I feeling so uncomfortable when these people were just trying to help me? What in the world was holding me back from going out and buying new clothes that fit me for work and my new life?

Then the big question rose its ugly head at me … why is it so hard for me to make myself a priority? Is this a ME Thing? A MOM thing or something that all women do? I started to look around to get some answers.

Once again, I found myself in the midst of a dozen questions and trying to find the answers. But then I remembered that this discovery process has something to do my continual search for the authentic self. I watched a recommended video of Brene Brown and she reminded me that when you live an authentic life it means that “you’re willing to let go of who you truly thought you should be in order to be who you really are.”

I’m always amazed how we receive our answers that we are asking of ourselves. The video viewing lead me to one day staring at the many, many self-help books on my bookshelf. One of the books reached out and spoke to me. It was one of those moments where I knew it was the message I was suppose to receive.

Here is a passage from what I found from the author Melody Beattie:

To honor the self is to live authentically, to speak and act from our innermost convictions and feelings.

To honor the self is to be in love with your own life, in love with our possibilities for growth and for experiencing joy, in love with the process of discovery and exploring our distinctively human potentialities.

Thus we can begin to see that to honor the self is to practice selfishness in the highest, noblest and least understood sense of that word. And this, I shall argue, requires enormous independence, courage and integrity.

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/233228813/sizes/z/in/photostream/

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