That didn’t come out right. What I meant to say was, due to the 20,000 questions I pound into my son Jake’s head everyday, when he meets a girl and gets married, she can thank his mother for turning him into the man he’ll become.
This is what I mean:
1. Questions about courtesy: I didn’t hear anything in the bathroom. Did you flush the toilet?
2. Questions about cleanliness: I heard the water running in the shower but did you scrub your body with soap and wash your hair with shampoo?
3. Questions to keep him health conscious: Did you brush your teeth for more then 10 seconds?
4. He’ll have good manners when he meets her parents: Did you say thank you? Don’t forget to put the word please back into your vocabulary.
5. He’ll be able to enjoy a dinner out: Where do you think are you are, in a barn? Eat with your mouth closed. I can hear you across the table.
6. He’ll be respectful of others: Take your shoes off the couch.
7. He’ll be aware of his appearance: Don’t pick your nose. Get a tissue and blow your nose.
8. He’ll be able to communicate with his girlfriend/love interest for the month: Did you just answer me in that tone of voice? How many times have I told you its disrespectful to talk to someone like that? Change that tone and ask me the question again.
9. He’ll be able to keep the peace in his home: Did you just argue with me about whether there were two cars or one car on the floor? Are you just arguing for the sake of trying to be right? If you want to get along with people, you need to stop trying to be right all the time.
10. He’ll be able to be at peace with himself: Yeah I know life’s not fair. The sooner you realize that life isn’t always fair, the easier it’ll be for you to enjoy your life.
Photo credit: Green Sunflower Seedhead